When Your Spirit Guides Act Like a Dysfunctional Reality Show and You’re the One Paying for It


 

Let’s talk about spiritual protection—because apparently, even the divine has drama.

Now, I learned early in my awakening that you don’t just “hope” for protection—you lock that shit down like Fort Knox. I did such a damn good job that, in 2021, a healer spent 15 whole minutes trying (and failing) to even get into my energy field. Meanwhile, I’d forgotten the shield was even there, just vibing, doing its job. Set it and forget it, right? LOL.

Fast forward to February 2022, when I’m doing some high-level energetic work with a close soul family friend. We took down an energetic anchor connected to a certain Hollywood elite family (not naming names because I refuse to feed them more energy than they already steal). A few days later, headlines start popping up about their very public struggles. Gee, I wonder why?

Like I said, I’m walking karma. When Spirit says “jump,” I don’t ask how high—I’m already mid-air. My protections are up, my energy is secured, and everything is fine.

Until it wasn’t.

When Your Spirit Guides Have Beef, You Suffer

Let’s now fast forward to March 2023, when my spiritual team had a staffing change (aka, I had a shift in spirit guides). And here’s the kicker: spirit guides don’t always get along. Apparently, soul contracts come with their own cosmic HR department, and mine? A hot mess.

One of my main guides had a problem with my higher self.

Yes. My own higher self.

I’d asked them to tweak my protection shield for something (don’t ask me what, I’d love to remember, but at this point, it’s all a fever dream of spiritual chaos). I then told my higher self, “When it’s done, make sure my protection goes back up.”

Higher self: “Got it, no problem.”

Me: Cool, great, moving on with my life.

And then that night… guess who shows up in my dreams?

Those elitist energy vamps I had messed up in 2022.

RED. FLAG. ALERT. 🚨

When You Forget to Lock the Cosmic Front Door…

I wake up the next morning with a sinus infection straight from hell. My face? Swollen. My energy? Wrecked. Nothing was working to get rid of it. And then it clicks—this isn’t just a random illness.

I check my protection shield.

That shit is wide the fuck open.

I. AM. LIVID.

I immediately summon my entire spirit team like an emergency board meeting. I demand to know who the hell dropped the ball.

My higher self is like, “I told him to put it back up.”

And my spirit guide? This absolute gremlin says, “I don’t take directions from HER.”

EXCUSE ME?!??

Spiritual Team Meeting: “Fix It or Get Fired”

Look. I don’t care what kind of celestial pissing contest is happening behind the veil. I should not be suffering because my guides are beefing like a bad reality show.

So, I laid it out real clear:

“I don’t give a shit what issues you have with each other. You will work together, or I will replace every single one of you. My entire FACE is swollen. Fix it. NOW.”

Cue the awkward silence. Spirit team collectively realizing they fucked up.

I gave them an ultimatum:

"I’m going to sleep. In six hours, this sinus infection better be GONE."

Guess what?

Six hours later. Infection? Poof. Gone.

Moral of the Story: Even Spirit Guides Have Their Moments

Your spirit team may be divine, but they’re not perfect. They still have to learn, evolve, and—clearly—work on their goddamn communication skills.

So, if your energy suddenly feels off, your protection feels weak, or you wake up with mystery ailments after a suspicious dream…

Might be time to check in with your spirit squad and make sure they’re not on some petty bullshit.

Just saying. 😌🔥

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